I attended a Women's Conference this weekend. I have been to many such conferences in my adult life. This one was different. Maybe it was because I am different. I went to the conference as one who has been broken and was partially healed. God has done wonderful things in my life this year. He has brought me through dark, difficult days. When I left the conference this weekend, I felt as if I had been kissed by God, and my healing was complete. I know there will still be difficult days, but I am finally at the point where I can take a deep breath and say, "All is well."
As the speakers came forward, each one seemed as if God had purposefully designed the words they spoke just to minister to me. Isn't that amazing how He does that? I know that there were thousands of other women there who experienced the exact same feelings.
On Friday night Kay Arthur spoke for an hour and a half on the entire book of Matthew. I didn't even notice the length because she kept me on the edge of my seat. She talked about who Christ is and what His calling was. I thought about that a lot that evening and the next day. On Saturday morning we opened with worship. I am not even sure what song we were singing. I just know that it talked about Jesus being my healer. In that moment I realized something. While I had come a long way, there were still wounds deep within me that I had held on to. On the outside I looked good, healthy and whole for the most part. But inside, buried within the deep chambers of my being, were still some hurts that I had kept as my own. As we began to sing the song about Jesus, our healer, I got the most beautiful image in my mind. In the Old Testament a blood sacrifice had to be offered for the atonement of sin. But when Christ came, He was offered up as the perfect sacrifice. No longer did animal sacrifices have to be offered. The blood Christ shed atones our sins. I believe that just as His blood has the redeeming power to forgive me of my sins and make me a new creation, it also has the power to redeem my life circumstances and make my life into a living testimony for Him. As I was thinking about the redeeming power of His blood, I pictured that precious blood that was shed for me, saturating my heart. Then in my mind, it traveled from my heart to every artery and vein in my body. As it did, it covered every deep and hidden wound that I have held tightly to and brought the healing touch that only He can bring. When the song was over, I physically felt lighter. I started weeping, and I wept for a long time. I finally let it ALL go. I gave all the hurt the sorrow and the pain to Him completely and totally. Finally, I can say that He has healed my broken heart.
I know there will still be difficult days. No matter how beautifully our wounds heal, if we look closely, we will still see the faint sign of a scar. I will always have that as long as I am on this earth. But when I have those days and I see those scars, I will not let it make me sad, angry or bitter. I will let it be a reminder to me that I have a heavenly Father who is crazy in love with me and can carry me through any circumstance that life throws my way.
I learned so much more at the conference on a more personal level. When I left, I was so overwhelmed that I was speechless. We had a five hour ride home. For most of the ride, I was silent. I prayed, I meditated, and I sought God for what He would have me do with what I learned. I hope that anyone who reads this knows Him as his personal Saviour. I cannot imagine going through the last year without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He has been my Comforter, my Provider, and my Redeemer. He wants to be that for everyone on the face of this earth. He made it so simple for us. He said that all we need to do is accept Him as our personal Lord and Saviour. Then we just hand the reins over to Him, let Him be in control, and hang on for the ride of our life.
There is an old song by Andre' Crouch that says it best:
It reaches to the highest mountain,it flows to the lowest valley;
the blood that gives me strength from day to day,
it will never lose its power.