I will be okay!

I sang today. I do not mean singing in the car or singing along with the congregation in church. This time I sang solo. It was the first time in almost a year that I have ministered in song in church. I shared with the congregation at Cain's Chapel a song that has carried me through many difficult days. It felt good. It felt right.

Before singing, I referenced Proverbs 3:5. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." In my "Unplanned Journey" I have learned that I cannot "lean on my own understanding." My mind will never be able to wrap around and make sense of this situation. When I start down that mental path, it just leads to an abyss of confusion. I just cannot let myself go there. I must trust the Lord with all my heart and know that He will redeem the situation.

I finally have gotten to the point where I can say, "My girls and I are going to be okay." I am not sure what "okay" is going to look like. I am a planner, and I really want to know, but I cannot. I am just going to have to watch it unfold. It could be a number of things. Maybe I will have a ministry to others struggling with divorce. It could be that I will teach my current students' children at Central years from now. God might have a wonderful person for me with whom I will share the rest of my life. Maybe I will be single the rest of my life. Who knows what my "okay" will be? God does, so I am going to trust Him as I watch it unfold. As I was talking with my sweet, young college friend tonight, I said, "I know whatever God has in store for me, it will be good. It is like waiting for that Christmas present that you know will be just the perfect present."

I face some big hurdles over the next few months. They are far too big for me. For the first time in my life, I am facing situations that I cannot make work out. So what am I going to do? I am going to trust God and know that we are going to be okay. I am going to wait with anticipation for the great things that God has in store for us.

"I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of."

John 10:10b (The Message)