Sunday, August 22, 2010

Remembering HIS Faithfulness

This weekend has had some difficult moments. I am hurting for friends who are going through difficult valleys. I am a bit overwhelmed at running a household and starting a new school year. But the biggest emotional mountain I am facing is my older daughter starting her senior year. That is one of those bittersweet milestones in a parent's life anyway. But compounded with the circumstances that we are currently dealing with makes it even more emotional. I have a tradition for the week that school starts back. For years now the girls have gotten "back to school" surprises every morning during the first week of school. They are just small things, much like stocking stuffers. They always include a special note from "Mom and Dad." This year they will still get the surprises, but some will be from Mom and some will be from Dad. None will be from "Mom and Dad." I know that seems like an insignificant thing. But it is all those little things in divorce that you don't prepare yourself for that seem to hit you the hardest.

Needless to say, I found myself in the "shadows" this weekend. I haven't been back to the dark place, and I hope to never go there again, but sometimes I do find myself in the "shadows." I am not my normal happy self. But just like the dark place, I cannot stay there! I have talked with several friends over the weekend who have been so kind and helpful. Last night, when I found myself feeling blue, I went to a good friend's house and ate fried okra. Nothing else, just fried okra. Another friend came over to her house about 10:00 after she got her little boy to sleep. She is so talented, and she sang several beautiful songs for us. I really felt better.

However, today, I found myself moving back into the shadows. The girls are both shopping for the final pieces for their back-to-school outfits, and I have had some alone time. I ran to pick up a final "back to school" surprise. As I was coming home and turning in to my subdivision, I had an epiphany. I was feeling sad and overwhelmed. I guess you could say that I was having a "pity party." At that moment, God spoke something to my heart. It was not an audible voice, but rather a thought that I had. Sometimes when you have certain thoughts, you know that there is NOWHERE on earth that it could have come from except God. That was what I experienced today.

"Have I not always taken care of you and worked things for your best interest, even when you thought they were not? Remember when I placed you at Central?"

When I decided to go back into the classroom, I was offered a teaching job at Central High School. I was so glad to have the opportunity, but when I got there, I was not happy. It was nothing against the school. It was just that I missed being in the same school with my girls. In time, however, I came to love that school and those students. By the end of my first year, I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that this was where I was supposed to be.

I looked forward to going back for my second year. We had such a good year. I had the opportunity to work with the students academically. We made huge strides this year. If you will allow me to brag a little, we are an "A" school. It was also a year of continuing to build relationships with the students and being able to help mentor them through some of life's difficulties. The greatest blessing for me, as I wrote in an earlier blog, was that being with those students at Central School every day helped me through a very difficult time in my life.

It was where I was supposed to be. There is no doubt about that. So when I had the "God thought" earlier today about being at Central, I remembered that He has always held me in the palm of His hands. He has always taken care of me and placed me just where I needed to be. He has always been faithful to me. All I have to do is look back over my life, and I can see His hand everywhere. I trust that He has an amazing future for me and my girls, and He will put us just where we need to be. He has done it before, and He will do it again.

Joshua 23:14
“Deep in your hearts you know that every promise of the Lord your God has come true. Not a single one has failed!"


  1. God is watching over you and your daughters! Big things and blessings will pour your way! Stay in faith, it will happen! Love ya

  2. Amy, I have had you on my heart lately. I know the darkness well that you refer to, but in the end it just makes the light that much brighter. You are in my prayers and my thoughts daily. I will email you directly, but just know that with every day, every hour, that passes you are healing and becoming stronger. Much love from your old friend Rachel Matthews.