Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Call Someone Who Cares

The temperature last night was amazing.  I went out for an evening run, and it was absolutely perfect.  As I was running, a memory invaded my thoughts.  My mind went back to February.  I was with my friend running a half marathon in New Orleans.  Jason and I were separated but working toward reconciliation.  I signed up for  text notifications.  It was a neat little gimmick.  As you ran the marathon, you would pass by checkpoints.  When you crossed those points, it would send a text message to the person you had chosen telling them where you were and what your time was.  I think that is the last time I "checked in" with Jason when I was away from him.  The next week he told me he was not coming home.

A few weeks later I went out of town to a conference.  It was in Orlando, and my friend and I left after school.  The trip down turned into a comedy of errors.  It should have taken us about seven hours, but we made it there in a record ten hours!  We were delirious when we got there.  It was 2:00 in the morning.  I remember going to my room and thinking how odd it was not to pick up the phone and call Jason to let him know that I had arrived safely.

This is a another part of the journey that no one tells you about. For twenty-one years I have made check-in calls.   "I made it.  I love you.  Sleep well."  Whom do I call now and tell that I am okay?  Now don't misunderstand me.  I have plenty of people who check up on me.  My mother will do this as long as she is breathing.  I have friends who take care of me.  My friend Bobbie has called me before and said, "Are your blinds closed and doors locked?"  The most persistent two are my girls.  If I am gone longer than they think I should be, I start getting, "Where are you?" texts from them.  One day I got a text from one of them that said, "Please answer your phone.   For all I know, you could be in a car wreck!"

I am very loved and cared for; however, it is just not the same as talking to your soul mate and letting him know that all is well.  You are so connected to this person, and you cannot rest until you know he is okay.  It is strange when you no longer share that connection.  Anyone who has experienced divorce, death, or even deployment of a spouse can identify with what I am saying.  

I am learning that this is okay.  I have lost my best friend, but I have an identity outside of him.  I have my family, friends, coworkers, and students.  However, these people have their own lives to live, and while they are a tremendous support for me, I am not their responsibility.  That is why the most important relationship I have is with God.  He was present at 2:00 in the morning when I arrived in Orlando, as He is every day of my life.  I don't have to "check in" with Him, because He is right there with me.   He will always be there, and He will never leave me.  I remember the old song that said, "Well, here's a quarter, call someone who cares."  I have good news.  You don't need a quarter, and He always cares!

Matthew 30:29-31  (New Living Translation) 
What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.  And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.


  1. So true Amy! God is always with us and what a wonderful feeling to know this! I solely depend on God, cause he will never leave or forsake me! My husband walked out on ME, but I know GOD never will! Love ya girl!

  2. I love the part where you are relying on having someone to call and check in with and you are able to realize at that point that it may not be who it use to be, but God is there and he is much greater. I am in love with your stories. Well I know they are more than stories. They are moments of time on your life. Thank you for sharing your moments with us.

  3. I want to share my stories as well. I am just afraid that if I get started I may not be able to stop and I may share too much. I first have to learn how to turn situations that I am ashamed of into situations that I am proud to have learned from.