I wish my life had not turned out the way that it has. I would give anything to turn back the clock, but I cannot. It is what it is. However, that does not mean that my life has to be over. I cannot remain stuck in "It is what it is." I have to move on and make it become something beautiful. I am convinced that no matter what our circumstance or situation, we have the opportunity to make it be the very best that it can be.
How do I begin the process of rebuilding my life?
I am learning to let go of the past. Last weekend I joined some friends from high school for dinner on Saturday night. Ironically, the place that we chose for dinner was the same restaurant that Jason and I went on our first date and where we went the night he proposed. We actually sat in the very same booth both nights. I walked by the booth, and I said goodbye to that part of my life. I was not sad. I smiled and was thankful for the many friends in the other room that were a part of my new beginning. I rejoined them in the room and had a wonderful evening.
I am learning that it is okay to be solo. A friend asked me Saturday night, "Where is your husband?" I laughed and told him that I was divorced. He said, "Well, congratulations." So many times I find myself feeling like the odd man out in a crowd. It was great to laugh and acknowledge that while I would not have chosen to be single at this point in my life, it is not the end of the world. I can actually go places by myself and have a really good time!
I am learning that God has a future planned for me, and it will be good. As I said earlier, my life is not over. I have no idea what that plan is, but I trust Him completely. Right now I believe with all my heart that his plan is for me to enjoy my girls. Last weekend I had seven teenagers in the house. That many kids certainly bring life wherever they are, and it is contagious. It was great therapy! As for other aspects of my future, who knows? God does! In His time, it will be revealed.
I have a very sweet friend older friend from Slapout. About twenty years ago, she lost her only son to leukemia, and her husband died from a heart attack all within a year. You would never know that she had been through such horrific circumstances. She is the most positive and optimistic person that I think I have ever met. One day I asked her how in the world she handled such devastating loss without becoming angry and bitter. She said, "It makes your faith stronger. You can become better, or you can become bitter." She chose better and has become an amazing inspiration to me and many others. Her "it is what it is" was horrific. Yet she has made her life into something beautiful. It is my prayer that God gives me the grace to take my situation and make it all that He wants it to be.
James 1:2-4Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.